Ok so... I did it.
We went and watched American Sniper yesterday.
I said over and over:
"We weren't going!"
"We didn't need to go!"
"Do you think that this is a good idea???!!"
However, I'm married to a very stubborn soldier and he felt he needed to go.
I'm sure most of you can relate, trying to tell that man he wasn't going to do something is about as useless as a one legged man in an ass-kicking competition.
So we went...just my husband and I.
We made the girls stay home. I'm just not ready for them to see this sort of stuff.
We filed into an extremely packed theater that was mostly military and vets. There were a few locals scattered here and there, but mostly military. In fact on either side of us were some guys who looked about 20, fresh haircuts.. all "hooah" about the movie and on the other was an older gentleman about 60 with one of those military hats that all older retired guys seem to wear.
So it starts, I'm not gonna lie.. I cried in the first 15 minutes of this movie. I cried through almost the entire thing, but there were also times I laughed through the tears. I cried because I knew what was coming. I cried because I as a spouse could relate.
This movie doesn't glorify her (Taya Kyle) or their relationship. It shows the horrible conversations you have after they get home and before they leave... again. It shows being on the phone and hearing horrible things and the phone going dead.
It doesn't show the crying till you throw up, snot running out of your face, trying to hide so your kids don't see.. but most of it... it's there.
I laughed and smiled at all the good times they showed. It's an amazing movie.
I'm not going to say it was a wise decision for us to have gone to the theater to see it. I've cried intermittently since yesterday at 2 when it started. I spent last night with no sleep because there were nightmares in my house last night.
But do I regret going... not at all.
I've never been to another movie experience like it..
"Saving Private Ryan" was close, but not the same.
When it was over.. there wasn't a sound.
People just sat there and watched the credits in silence. The young guys next to us were solemn, my husband was so tense I could feel it, put on his sunglasses inside the theater and attempted to comfort me......and the old guy next to me.. sat there and cried.. unashamedly as his wife held his hand. Some people continued to sit after the lights came up, but not one person made a sound leaving... not one.
I'll never forget any of it. For any of you who choose to see it, know it's damn hard. Know you certainly are not alone in the world, that at the very least on a little island in the middle of the Pacific is another military spouse that's crying over the same things. That she is so proud of you and your family what we all go through. That she knows how amazing we all think are vets are... even when it's almost too much to bear.
It's an extraordinary person to do what they do and it's extraordinary people who love them.
Love you guys