Not even close.
We are lucky enough to count ourselves above the median income here in South Western Missouri, but things are still tight as we try to adjust to retirement and furnishing our home.
So, I'm not one of those moms that I idolize who seem to have it all together and are just, you know, on top of everything.
In fact, I'm quite the opposite....you know, the kind who is scrambling to find something acceptable for picture--or, like this year, didn't even realize when picture day was...and who constantly seems to be searching for missing shoes or backpacks at the same time we are supposed to be heading out the door to do the morning "drop the kiddos at school" run.
...the kind of housewife who loves and adored organization--even color coding clothing "Roy G. Biv" style, but in reality is shoving things into the hall closet and vacuuming "where people see" right up until company comes over...and even then is apologizing for the globs of black hair that my Newfoundland leaves all through the house no matter what time of year. *sigh*
I'm also the kind of wife that realizes my husband has PTSD/TBI issues--thus I find myself helping him search for his wallet or shoes or whatever because he can't remember where he put them...thinking all the while, "Umm...I have 3 children...one teenager, one "tween" and a 1st grader...why am I doing this for my nearly 40 year old hubby? And why is it that I can remember where everyone else's stuff is, but no one seems to have a clue when my crap turns up missing?"
....and then I feel all kinds of guilty for a little bit...and then forgive myself because, Lord-have-mercy, I am only human and I'm trying...I really am trying to give my best, but for what ever reason I seem to get caught up on one thing and then something else falls behind.
Please tell me this sounds familiar.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who tries to budget--yet forgets a bill or doesn't think to plan financially for something and then has to juggle/maneuver things around to make it all work...
...who has made valiant attempts at creating a daily schedule and a "home organization binder" but with 3 kiddos and this monkey on our backs called PTSD/TBI, things get over looked, forgotten, put off, adjusted, and then who knows what else! *laugh*
I try to stay balanced.
I try very hard to not strive for perfection; however, with Pinterest as my comparison...well....it's rather difficult. *laugh*
Can I let you in on a little secret?
In my crazy brain, your home is literally perfect...like Pinterest perfect.
Your pantry is perfectly stocked with all the labels facing out and organized by this incredible system.
Your meals are planned--always.
You never forget anything at the grocery store.
You are dressed fashionably and with no dog drool or kiddie oopsies anywhere to be seem..oh and your shoes, jewelry and purse perfectly accessorize your ensemble....and you have these outfits planned out the week before.
There is no digging in your purse because it is perfectly stocked and organized at all times with no crazy loose receipts fluttering about.
Your animals are perfectly bathed and groomed.
Your towels folded and organized.
Your house is always cleaned--with fresh vacuum tracks in your carpet.
Wait.
What?
Why are you laughing and rolling your eyes?
Is this not your reality?
See, I had some girlfriends clue me in on the reality that this "reality" in my mind that I was constantly comparing myself to was ridiculous and just not REAL.
I was stressing myself out for some illusion I had concocted all on my own in my head.
So what is real?
What is realistic?
Well...you are going to have to define that one for yourself, but right now my office isn't all the way unpacked and even though I make organized little piles every other day, my kittens or children come in and remind me how much they love me by leaving this:
About once a week...ok, probably more like every 2 weeks when myself or the children run out of clean socks and underwear, my laundry room looks like this as I catch up on a tsunami of dirty clothes:
And my kitchen sink seems to always have "straggler" dirty dishes that didn't quite make it into the dishwasher....like this:
..............
But you know what? I don't care anymore...because have found that as long as my children and husband get my attention for a few minutes a day--they don't care whether or not the house is immaculate...and Lord knows I don't look back over my childhood and wish my mother had kept the house cleaner...in fact, I remember how stressed she was raising 4 children with a husband that worked away trying to keep it to the standards that her mother kept her house....oh and her mother had a live in house keeper. ;-)
So, why am I writing this?
Why am I sharing my "lived in and full of love" house?
Because I want you to know that you are a superstar!
You are more than enough...and this "stuff" that women's magazines tell us is important is B.S.
I want you to love yourself--have fun with life where ever you are at and let that be wonderful.
For instance, we pinching pennies to save for Christmas and fix this crazy car that "blew up". So, I've decided to see how creative I can be to feed my family for $150 or less a week. I'm learning how to make bagels and bread at home...along with a bunch of other stuff. And Christmas is going to be rather home made...along with Halloween costumes this year. And we've committed to buying gently used clothes...basically the only thing new we'll buy is socks, undies and shoes.
And you know what?! We are having a lot of fun with it! (And not focusing on "lack" but instead all of the things we have to be grateful for!)
So, I challenge you to give yourself a "reality check" by redefining what "reality" should be in a life that is full of mood swings and unexpected "stuff".
Remember, my friends, to always:
Love with PASSION!
Live with PEACE!
Dare to DREAM...for you are more than "enough" and incredibly worthy of everything you desire--and more!
I love you.
-Ash
